| Unlockable: | How to Unlock: | 
| '42' tattoo | Visit the pretentious artist with the Terrycloth Tackle equipped | 
 | Accordion Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Accordion Thief | 
 | Axe Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform equipped | 
 | Beer Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Frat Boy Ensemble equipped | 
 | Black 'I' Tattoo | Complete one hardcore ascension | 
 | Black 'II' Tattoo | Complete two hardcore ascensions | 
 | Black 'III' Tattoo | Complete three hardcore ascensions | 
 | Black 'IV' Tattoo | Complete four hardcore ascensions | 
 | Black 'IX' Tattoo | Complete nine hardcore ascensions | 
 | Black 'V' Tattoo | Complete five hardcore ascensions | 
 | Black 'VI' Tattoo | Complete six hardcore ascensions | 
 | Black 'VII' Tattoo | Complete seven hardcore ascensions | 
 | Black 'VIII' Tattoo | Complete eight hardcore ascensions | 
 | Black 'X' Tattoo | Complete ten hardcore ascensions | 
 | Black 'XI' Tattoo | Complete eleven hardcore ascensions | 
 | Black 'XI+' Tattoo | Complete twelve hardcore ascensions | 
 | Black Helmet Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Black Armaments equipped | 
 | Broken Bottle Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Frat Warrior Fatigues equipped | 
 | Bugbear Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Bugbear Costume equipped | 
 | Cloaca-Cola Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Cloaca-Cola Uniform equipped | 
 | Clock Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Time Trappings equipped | 
 | Clockwork Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Clockwork Apparatus equipped | 
 | Clown Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Terrifying Clown Suit equipped | 
 | Crimbo Pineapple Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Tropical Crimbo Duds equipped | 
 | Disco Ball Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Disco Bandit | 
 | Duct tape tattoo | Visit the pretentious artist with the Tapered Threads equipped | 
 | Dyspepsi Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Dyspepsi-Cola Uniform equipped | 
 | Egg Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Grass Guise equipped. | 
 | Elbereth Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Yendorian Finery equipped | 
 | Fourty Two Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Terrycloth Tackle equipped | 
 | Gnauga Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Gnauga Tattoo equipped | 
 | Heart Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Knob Goblin Harem Girl Disguise equipped | 
 | Helmet Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Antique Arms And Armor equipped | 
 | Jellyfish Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Encephalic Ensemble equipped | 
 | Light Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Bow Tux equipped | 
 | Log Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Seal Clubber | 
 | Loser Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Furry Suit equipped | 
 | Maple Leaf Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the OK Lumberjack Outfit equipped | 
 | Martini Tattoo | Acquired randomly when drinking Martinis | 
 | Meat stack tattoo | Visit the pretentious artist with the Bounty-hunting Rig equipped | 
 | Ninja Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Hot And Cold Ninja Running Suit equipped | 
 | No Beer Tattoo | Complete a hardcore teetotaler ascension | 
 | No Pasta Tattoo | Complete a hardcore boozetafarian ascension | 
 | Palette Tattoo | Find The Pretentious Artists 3 Items | 
 | Palm Leaves Tattoo | Visit the pretentious artist with the Palmist Paraphernalia equipped | 
 | Pasta Spoon Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Pastamancer | 
 | Peace Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Filthy Hippy Disguise equipped | 
 | Pickaxe And Shovel Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Mining Gear equipped | 
 | Pirate Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Swashbuckling Getup equipped | 
 | Pixel Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the 8-Bit Finery equipped | 
 | Present Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Crimbo Duds equipped | 
 | Radio Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Radio Free Regalia equipped | 
 | Recycling Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Glad Bag Glad Rags outfit equipped | 
 | Saucepan Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Sauceror | 
 | Scientific Oxygen Diagram Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenaerian ascension | 
 | Snowflake Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the eXtreme Cold-Weather Gear equipped | 
 | Sparkling Accordion Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as an Accordion Thief | 
 | Sparkling Disco Ball Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as a Disco Bandit | 
 | Sparkling Log Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as a Seal Clubber | 
 | Sparkling Pasta Spoon Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as a Pastamancer | 
 | Sparkling Saucepan Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as a Sauceror | 
 | Sparkling Turtle Tattoo | Complete a hardcore ascension as a Turtle Tamer | 
 | Star Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Star Garb equipped | 
 | Super Sparkling Accordion Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as an Accordion Thief | 
 | Super Sparkling Disco Ball Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as a Disco Bandit | 
 | Super Sparkling Log Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as a Seal Clubber | 
 | Super Sparkling Pasta Spoon Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as a Pastamancer | 
 | Super Sparkling Saucepan Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as a Sauceror | 
 | Super Sparkling Turtle Tattoo | Complete a hardcore oxygenarian ascension as a Turtle Tamer | 
 | Turtle Tattoo | Complete a softore ascension as a Turtle Tamer | 
 | WAR Tattoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the War Hipppy Fatigues equipped | 
 | White 'I' Tattoo | Complete one softcore ascension | 
 | White 'II' Tattoo | Complete two softcore ascension | 
 | White 'III' Tattoo | Complete three softcore ascension | 
 | White 'IV' Tattoo | Complete four softcore ascension | 
 | White 'IX' Tattoo | Complete nine softcore ascension | 
 | White 'V' Tattoo | Complete five softcore ascension | 
 | White 'VI' Tattoo | Complete six softcore ascension | 
 | White 'VII' Tattoo | Complete seven softcore ascension | 
 | White 'VIII' Tattoo | Complete eight softcore ascension | 
 | White 'X' Tattoo | Complete ten softcore ascension | 
 | White 'XI' Tattoo | Complete eleven softcore ascension | 
 | White 'XI+' Tattoo | Complete twelve softcore ascension | 
 | Wreath Tatoo | Visit the Pretentious Artist with the Arboreal Raiment equipped | 
 
| Unlockable: | How to Unlock: | 
| 100 pound load | get familiar total weight 100 | 
 | 300 pound load | get familiar total weight 300 | 
 | 99 Red Balloons | Multiuse 99 red balloons all at the same time | 
 | Amateur Tour Guide | Have 10 Different 90-100% Favourite Familiars In Your Ascension History | 
 | Best Meal of My Life | Eat 60 White Citadel burgers, 10 White Citadel Fries, and drink 4 Cherry and Diet Cloaca Colas | 
 | big boat | take 1000 shore trips | 
 | Big Boss | Beat boss bat, goblin king, and bonerdagon at level 11 canadia setting | 
 | black hole terrarium | get familiar total weight 500 | 
 | bouquet of Hippies | eat 420 herb brownies | 
 | Brass Bowling Trophy Trophy | Get the trophy in the Strange Leaflet quest | 
 | Brave Sir Robin | run away from 100 battles | 
 | Bringer of Storms | use 100 chaos butterflies | 
 | clockwork trophy | find 10 clockwork keys in one ascension | 
 | Cool Customer | Have Coldform And At Least 100 Bonus Cold Damage/Spell Damage | 
 | Crossroads | use 50 scrolls of ancient forbidden unspeakable evil | 
 | Der Toastieb | Get toast from a PVP fight | 
 | Disgusting Cocktail | Drink 5 tomato daiquiris | 
 | Dreadul, Just Dreadful | Have Spookyform And At Least 100 Bonus Spooky Damage/Spell Damage | 
 | Duke of Disco | Achieve level 30 as a Disco Bandit | 
 | Easy come, Easy go | discard 1 pretty flower | 
 | Eerily Skilled | make all 6 Spookyraven Manor skills permanent | 
 | Extinctionist | Kill all Dungeons of Doom monsters 120 times | 
 | failure to communicate | eat 50 lucky surprise eggs | 
 | Festive Dismemberment | Acquire the Missing Fingers effect by using a Knob Goblin firecracker on July 4th | 
 | Friend of Elves | Defeat 10 Reindeer in the Crimbo Town Factory | 
 | Friend of the Devils | Summon any combination of 30 demons in the Summoning Chamber | 
 | Gadget Inspector | Obtain 10 clockwork keys from the Thugnderdome | 
 | Gender Bender | Get 30 sex changes in the Sleazy Back Alley | 
 | Golden Meat Stack | Accumulate 1,000,000 meat in Hardcore | 
 | golden yeti | spend 100 turns protesting yeti slaughter | 
 | Gourdcore | get all gourd potions in one hardcore ascension | 
 | Hothouse Hero | Have Hotform And At Least 100 Bonus Hot Damage/Spell Damage | 
 | I Heart Canadia | Drink 30 white canadians | 
 | I Love a Parade | Use 11 handfuls of confetti at once | 
 | Jack of Several Trade | get all gnome skills permanently | 
 | Let my bugbears go | visit the Bugbear Pens in a bugbear outfit after freeing them from the Spooky Gravy Fairies and get the One Day in the Life adventure | 
 | little boat | take 100 shore trips | 
 | Little Chickadee | Get 1000 drunkeness | 
 | Maestro of Mariachi | Achieve level 30 as an Accordion Thief | 
 | Malodorous | Have Stenchorm And At Least 100 Bonus Stench Damage/Spell Damage | 
 | Palindrophy | Get a pagoda | 
 | Pantsless! | Obtained by taking off your pants, in game, at the crossover from 2005-2006 | 
 | Phileas Foggy | Drink 80 around the worlds | 
 | Platinum Skull | Eat 5 spaghetti with skullheads | 
 | Potentate of Pasta | Achieve level 30 as a Pastamancer | 
 | Professional Tour Guide | Have 30 Different 90-100% Favourite Familiars In Your Ascension History | 
 | Reindeer Hunter | Defeat 100 Reindeer in the Crimbo Town Factory | 
 | Sauciest Saucier | Achieve level 30 as a Sauceror | 
 | Scourge of Seals | Achieve level 30 as a Seal Clubber | 
 | silver yeti | spend 10 turns protesting yeti slaughter | 
 | Slapstick Trophy | Discard and slip on 3 separate banana peels | 
 | Slice and Dice | Ascend with a 20 pound Stab Bat | 
 | The Butler Did It | Use the Manual of Labor/Transmission/Dexterity 30 times | 
 | The Ghuol Cup | Eat 11 ghuol guolashes | 
 | The Three Amigos | Donate 1,000,000 meat to each of the three statues in The Hall of the Legends of the Times of Old | 
 | This Lousy Trophy | Be around when ascension started | 
 | three-tiered trophy | consume a three-tiered wedding cake | 
 | tiny plastic trophy | have all 32 tiny plastic items in you display case | 
 | trivially skilled | permanently get the original skills you start with. | 
 | Two-Tiered Tiny Plastic Trophy | Display All 64 Tiny Plastic Series 2 Figurines In Your Display Case | 
 | Tzar of Turtles | Achieve level 30 as a Turtle Tamer | 
 | Weeping Pizza | Eat 5 white chocolate and tomato pizzas | 
 | Wink Wink Nudge Nudge | Have Sleazeform And At Least 100 Bonus Sleazy Damage/Spell Damage | 
 | Your Log Saw Something That Night | Type Laura Palmer into the notes section of the quest log |